
Query:
Children are being stolen and four tenacious tweens
from around the world have the power to save them, they just don’t know it,
yet.
Sage can’t understand why she is so affected by her
friend’s emotions and why she has no control of her own. Mei can’t explain how
she can play the violin so brilliantly without the ability to read notes. Themba can’t stop
his mind from racing with possibilities every moment of every day. And Gabe has never known why he can run forever without tiring.
But the Enlerians, an advanced race of
ocean-dwelling beings, know why. They can read their coded powers and, if given
the key to unlock them, they believe those powers will save the stolen
children.
The Korastians, another underwater civilization,
have decided that humanity is hopeless and are stealing children in their bid
to control the earth. Now these four kids are tasked with getting themselves
kidnapped in order to infiltrate the domed world of Korast, save the stolen
children being reprogrammed there, and stop the eradication of adults above.
To succeed they will have to believe the Enlerians
and dive in, accepting what they are truly capable of. Fighting advanced mental
and technological weapons, it will take all their new found powers to save
themselves, let alone humanity.
First
250 words:
Chapter
One: Sage
It
must have been her imagination. No one was out there. She was just tired. Tired
of the changes and tired of the unknown. Light was fading, being pulled across
the water, drowning with the red ball sun too heavy to remain above the
horizon. It was time to head back.
Finding
her temporary home with palm trees placed in front like chess pawns before a
king, she took the path around the side and brushed sand from her feet onto the
manicured lawn. With a last glance to the twilight sky she stepped into the
lanai her aunt had kept so perfectly considering she was never there. It was
hard not to think of people living out of their cars.
She
let the door slam but no one noticed. Returning to the green room, she flopped
down on the bed and stared at her suitcase. She knew her mother wanted her to
unpack and get organized. Why should she unpack to just pack it up again? They
didn’t know where they were going to be living next week. Insane. How do you
get organized for that?
Outside
her thoughts she heard her name being called. She froze and listened. It called
again, like a quiet wave onto the shore. The conch shell? She grabbed it
off the dresser and held it to her ear. “Sage.” Her fingers flew open dropping
it on the bed as her mind whirled into a tail spin. It was true; she could hear
the ocean in a conch, but her name - too weird.
Very interesting. You've got an underwater battle with no mermaids. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sarah. It's nice to know you think so.
DeleteNice job! I love MG and this sounds exciting. Best of luck to you!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Natalie. Best of luck to you, too!
DeleteLove this premise! What an adventure!
ReplyDeleteWith your first 250, maybe you could make it a little less vague. Like mention Sage's name sooner?
Love the idea of all the viewpoints! Good luck!
Thank you, Sarah. You helped me to realize I had forgotten to include "Chapter one - Sage". I'll add her name in sooner, too.
DeleteYou have quite a unique premise here, and the diversity aspect is neat - that these kids are from all over the world and not just from one town or something. It would be really interesting to see a story told from four different characters with not only different thoughts and feelings but also entirely different cultural backgrounds - they would have SUCH a different perspective.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Melissa. They do have different thoughts, feelings and perspectives, with different cultures and different families but in the end they are all just kids, trying their best.
DeleteOne actually started out Canadian (I grew up in Ontario but spent a year out west)but then a few chapters in I realized he was from South America. Next book!
Four multicultural characters? OH YES. Love that! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Marieke. Good luck to you, too!
DeleteThis sounds like a really fun adventure! Best of luck to you!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jennie. Good luck to you, too!
DeleteCommunication via conch - super cool. *sends good luck vibes*
ReplyDeleteThank you, Leslie. Good vibes right back at you!
DeleteWell, I love the water, so that's a plus. Also loving the multi-cultural characters, and I'm interested to see what happens with the unlocking of their powers. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThank you, L.T.. Good luck to you, too!
DeleteI really like the multi-cultural angle and always have a soft spot for characters graced with abilities they must learn to trust. Best of luck to you. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Hannah. Best of luck to you, too!
DeleteMysterious, intriguing and multicultural. I'd say you've got triple threat right there. Good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Anoosha! Good luck to you, too!
Delete